Summer Time

"Summer time and the livin' is easy".......not in my world!  Remember when we were young and no school for the summer?  Sometimes it seemed to go on forever, time to read, play, swim....hang out.  Now, it seems the days speed by and there is never enough time to enjoy it.  (seems to be my theme, joy, hmmm)  I don't think that I am obsessive about things, but with the house, the property, the job, the garden, the animals, the days are over before I know it!  The rain this year of course has created a lot of time spent JUST mowing, which in turn takes time from getting other "need to's" from getting their turn. I am going to be gone this weekend and next weekend.  I feel a guilt about that, why?  All that stuff that needs to be attended to will all still be there when I get home.....and if I should not get it all done???  I don't think that I will be grounded, sat in a corner or chastised........I mean are the cats and the dog going to complain that I didn't get the weed eating done???  Doubt it! 

So, the big wonder today is .........do most of us spend so much time getting "it" done that we forget to enjoy?  I think so.......the old saying is "when you are lying on your death bed will you wish you had worked more"?  So, I'm going to go and have fun and just do what I can and enjoy doing it.................hmmm, wonder how long the grass can get??

J Mac

Something to Contemplate

(SENT TO ME BY TUT.COM)

Some find it, some lose it, and some never cared.

Which is just as well, because religion has only ever been up to you.

 

Thank heaven,

The Universe

P.S. Spirituality, on the other hand, is pretty much non-negotiable. You have angels, you are one to others, and you're going to live forever.
 
 
True or false........something to contemplate.......would you be happier believing it's true or false?

 

When did things change?

Last weekend I was once again reminded that children have lost respect for their parents.  I have spent some time contemplating when the change came on.

When did parents become slaves to their children and, I might add, grandchildren?  When did the new rules go into enforcement?  When did dedicating our entire lives to our childrens' lives become the requirement for being a "good parent"?  Wasn't the first 20 years enough?  Does deciding to have children instantly make you responsible for them "till death do us part", I thought that was marriage! 

I was brought up to learn to live my own life and within that living my parents were included, but the main body was to consist of me, a mate and children.  My parents were then free to go and do as they pleased.  They had already spent 25 years of their life raising children, doing without, feeding us, clothing us, running us, paying our way.  Wasn't it now their time to enjoy watching their children live a good life of their own making, raising their children?

That's how I was raised!  I thought the whole system was pretty good.  We spent alot of our childhood wishing we could do what WE wanted......and now we could!  So, I looked forward to raising my kids the same way.  I would enjoy them and then give them away to their own lives.  Maybe they would have children and I would get to watch THEM raise them, see them occasionally and go about the things I had waited to do. That's what I found enjoyable, seeing my parents enjoy themselves.  I remember my Grandparents, we went and saw them at all the holidays, sometimes in between.  NEVER, did my Grandparents, pick me up at school (mom didn't even do that), show up at every event and rarely ever babysat.  Wasn't that how it should be?

Well, I was wrong!  Somewhere along the line the umbilical cord reattached!  First, there are children who NEVER move from home.  Somehow, they have the impression that we are required to take care of them for as long as THEY feel necessary.  Then we have the ones who have moved out, gotten married, had 2-3 children and now think that we should be available at all times to babysit all weekend while they relax, pick them up at school, make sure that you make all school events.  Which could be during the day events, soccer, softball, basketball, wrestling, dance, track.........the list goes on.  When told NO, that you can't make all that with a 20 minute lead time, they are disgusted!  My goodness, aren't I just sitting waiting for them to call so that I may serve???  What happened??

I find that I could handle the disgust, to a certain point, but I am appalled at the disrespect that is shown.  What was the old adage?  Oh yes, "I brought you into this world, you little (add your own) and I can take you out"!  I agree not a very nice thing to say, but after 20 years of raising children don't I deserve to live out the rest of it as I see fit.  Didn't I bring them into the world, shouldn't that be enough to qualify for "decent parent"?   Sure, there are the nightmare parents, not denying that, but this whole conversation is about the average dysfunctional family.  No beatings or locked up children!  Instead I see the worst treatment of parents who have not dedicated every breathing moment to "the children and grandchildren".  I find it very confusing.

I grant that things change, but I think children need to give it a rest!  They had the kids.......they need to raise them.  Give me a schedule and I will see what I can come to, but when you moved out and married my priorities changed.  From you to me.  I suppose some might think that selfish, maybe, but my main priority is to be happy.  I love my children and my grandchildren, but it seems, lately anyway, there is no compromise........I give all or I get nothing.

Dang, I'm still confused.............
J Mac

Stop and smell the horse manure!

What is the main thing we want most in our life?  We want to enjoy it! What is the main thing we do with our lives? We work!  We go thru life with to much to do.  We go to our jobs, we take care of the family, we fix our homes, mow the yards, weed the gardens, clean the house....the list goes on and on!

I have a small acreage that needs constant work.  I don't mind, that's why I bought it, I love being outside, tending my gardens, clearing my land.  How often do I actually sit out there and ENJOY it?  Not often enough.  I walk by and realize how beautiful the flowers are this year or how nice the pasture looks after I mow it, but I don't sit out there, have my coffee or iced tea and just ENJOY!  I also own a horse, Missy has been with me for 20 yrs. and we have covered alot of miles together, she's great.  Last year I was working three jobs, trying to keep up with the house and the grounds.  So, I didn't load my girl up ONE time, not once!  Why?  I was too busy.  Too busy with what, with making money, with working and working. 

This Saturday I went out to mow the yard, thinking I had just enough time to mow before I needed to clean up and get to a wedding.  Well, a friend of mine came out with her grandson to see just how strawberries come to be.  We visited and roamed around the gardens and I realized I hadn't done that in months......just roam around and look and appreciate.  Then, just as I began to mow again another friend came by. Someone I had not really visited with for a long time.  Initially I felt frustrated, I really needed to get this yard mowed!  But, instead we sat and talked until I had to kick him out so I could get ready for the wedding.  I went to the wedding, came home and thought..what?  You got it, I really should be out there working.  I had missed all day!  Instead another friend called, my horse riding buddy.  She says "let's go riding tomorrow"! Well, of course I had all kind of excuses, I need to mow, need to weed, need to finish the quilt, clean the house, etc. etc.!  Then I realized that I keep whining about not having any fun in my life!  Sure,  part of the fun I want is to enjoy my job more, but what about personal time?  Shouldn't that be just as enjoyable.  So, I said YES let's go! 

We went yesterday and it was worth every minute!  Just riding thru the woods, the sweet smell of summer earth.  The trees whispering their summer song, the birds and bugs singing to us!  It was beautiful and realized how much I had missed it and how free and relaxed I had become.  I took the time to stop and smell the horse manure and it was lovely!

All that "work" is still waiting for me, but even that can be more enjoyable.  Once I stopped and realized that there will always be work, but we all need to enjoy all those small little stops in the work.........those are what make the work worth it. 

The next 20 years.........they need to be fuller of those small stops.......it's not very long, 20 years.

Smelling the roses and the horse manure!
J Mac

The First One!

Good Morning All!  I say "All" with a bit of humor, since no one knows I'm here!  The title of my blog should have been a question instead of a statement.  The next 20 years, what's to come?  I find that it is an exciting phrase as well as a bit on the depressing, scary side.  Here I am, a 57 year old female, the kids are grown and raising their own families, living their own dreams and now it's my time.  And what is it I want to do with it?  That's the big question, isn't it?  During all those years of growing up we couldn't wait to get to 16 to drive, 18 to have our personal freedom, 21 to buy alcohol and have the designation of "grown up"!  Then we thought we "should" start looking for the "love of our life" or at the very least a good candidate for the father of the children we should have.  So, we get married, have our children, wipe noses, laugh at antics, mow yard, work and work and work.  Then all of a sudden we find ourselves "emptynesters", possibly divorced or widowed and still doing the same thing as always....working.  The difference is that the drive to do that same thing isn't there anymore. There are no mouths to feed except yours and the animals.  No clothes to buy, books for school and the endless pairs of tennis shoes.   Now we enter "middle age".  I have to say as a younger person I thought people went a bit crazy and what was up with the whole "midlife crisis" thing? I think that I have figured it out!  For me, once the kids left and I was living on my own, I realized that I was bored.  I have been doing the same basic job for almost 40 yrs.  I had a short switch for 7 of those years when I owned and operated an espresso bar, which was fabulous but alas not very lucrative, but other than that the SAME JOB.  Now at middle age (or actually a bit over, but whose counting?) I realize that at best I have maybe a good 20 years.  What to do with it?  Midlife Crisis, the realization that we have been doing what we do for so long that it's time to do something different for the last 20 years coming up! 

So, my friends, this blog is to hopefully take this one female on a bit of a journey to finding those answers.  I plan on gathering data, analysing, projecting ideas and working my thoughts through all of it to find out just what I want to do with these next 20 years. Instead of  just stumbling dumbly through them.  I know one thing for sure and it is my guiding light........life is supposed to be fun.....and that is where my search needs to take me.

So, to end the first blog..........I thank anyone who has read this and please join me on this journey I hope to take to FUN and enrichment!